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March 29, 2013

I'm on the pursuit of happiness

I spend an inordinate amount of time on creating memories and keepsake, scrapbooks and cards. Perhaps I am afraid of how time washes everything away, dilutes, and how these are the little things that you can hold on dearly to. Perhaps this is what makes me a sentimental person.

But sometimes I question myself on what I do is really worth the effort.

What really shook me at the start of this week was a simple question- 'Why are we doing this?' that made me think of everything that I've been doing up to this point. What am I in it for? I guess it all goes back to a previous entry about obligations versus the things that I enjoy. Perhaps I've been too quick to grab on to opportunities.

And in a bigger picture, if a team sees little purpose in what they are doing,  how do you even cultivate commitment or even a sense of personal responsibility? What really saddens me is realising that I've been blindly pushing on a soulless team that is only bounded by broken/delayed promises and obligations.

In a way there are so many such things that define my life right now. When the glamour and excitement of something new fades off, the most important thing above all else is to retain the spark and to always, always, live up to promises.

Went to a talk on Saturday and found this quote really appropriate: "The strength of an institution is tied to the strength of the belief we have in it. All institutions began with a promise."  So many occurrences this week that affirmed to how true this quote is- the school, the club, the project, the committee.

Sometimes I feel that we get caught up with bothersome details and self interests and in trying to fulfill other's expectations that we forget about the purest of intentions from day one. Perhaps that's just me being naive. Perhaps that's just the real world. Yet while listening to the speaker, with his infectious enthusiasm for his cause, you feel so empowered, and in a way you find clarity and comfort in a simple cause that triumphs all the hard work at the end of the day.

I wish to have that someday.

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