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January 20, 2013

Scrutiny


Is it normal to feel overwhelmed? Sometimes it feels like I'm being scrutinised every single moment of my life, and I'm not allowed to feel anything without having some sort of justification or explanation for it. It's suffocating and exhausting.

Maybe it doesn't make sense but sometimes I indulge in being sad, huddled in a melancholic corner of my mind, reflecting and sorting out my own thoughts. I don't need anyone invading that space, even those with the best of intentions. If you're keen you're welcome to enter and take a peek, but it stops there. A quiet understanding.

I don't fancy being some sort of enigma but that doesn't mean I like being completely transparent. It's not that I don't trust the friendship. Perhaps it's an introvert thing. I need space. To be alone, to think, to pour out my thoughts without getting overwhelmed by questions, or feeling that I'm burdening someone else with it.

One more week (or half) left of peace before term starts again.

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