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July 25, 2012

24/7 facade

"There are three types of jingxin- normal jingxin, dark inertia jingxin and TEEHEE jingxin."

I think the past week was filled with dark inertia jingxin. Don't know if it was just a bad week, or because novelty has died down and dark inertia is just who I really am.

Funny how the people whom I have been directing my loath at have absolutely no clue. It's kind of insulting in a way and makes me feel so ridiculous. Why did I spend so much energy being angry at something that is simply imaginary?

Yet as I recall the reason behind everything, I remember all the cumulative actions and words (or lack thereof) which have secretly hurt me.

And I know I am not the ridiculous one.

And I resolve that I am not going to put in anymore effort.

I will not be disappointed again if I do not care.

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