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May 20, 2012

stargazer, heartbreaker


Haven't slept before one am for the past five nights ): Work work work but I am still doing stuff at a snail's pace!!

Many things I want to share here, new experiences, observations, thoughts that come to mind. But many a times, the mental notes on what to pen down are lost, no thanks to my awesome memory.

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I'm starting to warm up to the learning culture here, which is fabulous! I am so glad that the days of people sleeping in class and still coming out tops in exams are gone. Everyone openly seeks help, asks questions, participates, and it's so great to know that everyone is moving forward as you are.

It feels like attending yet another structured school sometimes, but university life is really a lot about independence. Everyone sees you now as one lone individual. Not like it hasn't been like this before, but now more than ever, everyone goes on their own different paths without much need for accompaniment. I guess it's an adult thing.

As a nineteen year old, suddenly the world is in your hands and there are limitless opportunities, commitments, things to learn, workshops to attend, people to meet. It seems to me now that I have not really stepped out of the sheltered life and everything becomes a little overwhelming.

I feel so raw. Is that a weird adjective?

Another thing is that as I embrace the new, a small part of me has been hiding in a cave, clutching on tightly to the past, goodbyes which have not yet been spoken. Limbo. I guess that this is just it, sometimes in life not everything is going to have an ending, regardless of whether good or bad. I have to let it be.
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

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