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February 11, 2012

Feelings I would never know again

"I straightened up and looked out of the window at the dark clouds hanging over the North Sea, thinking of all I had lost in the course of my life: times gone for ever, friends who had died or disappeared, feelings I would never know again."

~ Norweigan wood, Haruki Murakami
Up until now, I feel like I'm just taking a long vacation from school.

Some other day I'll be cruising around the concourse before assembly, drag myself to the hall with a gloomy face, and then head off to lectures and tutorials, laugh at antics of the class, feel oddly nice in the company of familiar strangers and wave/say hi to people down the corridor. It's like I never really left.

Results day is getting nearer. Other than it probably being the deadliest day of my life (thus far), I guess it will somehow remind me that this really is the end. Hopefully when I am swarmed by dyed hair, makeup and bald heads, I will be sprung back to the present world and stop thinking. Hoping.

That will be my reason for going back to school one last time.

To witness change for myself and move on, too.

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