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October 17, 2011

Come and stumble me

(Who still reads this space? Or is smart enough to be able to. Haha..)


Keeping a positive outlook.

I'm willing to let go of all the negativity in me, if it means being a more pleasant person to be with, facing the next forty days with stride. I'm willing to leave behind things and people who put me down. I want to forget, even if it were just for a short while. I can only look forward, for now.

I miss you, but I don't know if it's even sensible to think about trying to sustain this friendship now. We bring each other down, you and I. Perhaps it's just for the better, separately focusing on what really matters at this life-changing point. Things can wait. They can, can't they?

My body is deteriorating. I feel perpetually thirsty and there are red dots scattered on my back for god-knows-what reason. Mum's been spamming me with all sorts of herbal tea and soup but it's not exactly effective. This is worrying. I don't need another reason to pull me away from concentrating on work when I get distracted almost 80% for the time.

Burn out? What burn out?

Thinking about all the myriad of things I'm going to do after As. For one, I'll be snuggling at home on the eighth of december, doing what I consider to be the best use of my time. I will not mope. Thereafter, I will scour Facebook albums without scorn. I promise.

I want to learn the guitar/ ukelele/ violin, I want to sew/ cook/ bake/ read/ blog, I want to properly learn drawing/ writing/ photoshop/ flash/ web design, I want to do real photography.

I will not let my passions take a step behind others' materialistic voyages of travel, shopping and outings. I can be excited about the things I care about too. I can be good in something too. For once I can feel good about myself. Don't throw away that chance.

All that said, I think I will be missing your company.

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