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June 24, 2011

A warm bath, a good laugh, an old song that you know by heart


Listening to: A Song about Love by Charlie Mcdonnell (charlieissocoollike on YouTube)

I think being addicted to something bad to you can be very emotionally draining.

Trying to abstain from it is tough, but the longer it gets the more pleased you are with yourself- but that lingering temptation is still there... until you succumb to it. It's a continuous cycle of guilt and tempt, guilt and tempt, all the while doing harm to yourself.

Guess I'm just not strong-willed enough.

-

I think I enjoy living in self-delusion. Sometimes I imagine scenarios that aren't remotely possible just to make myself feel better about the things in my life. And every little small incident or word-of-mouth just serves to feed my own fantasy, in the squeamish, girlish type of way.

But can you blame me; do you expect me to continue living in this gloomy situation, devoid of anything to be grateful for?

Two more terms until the end of this chapter. Should I say good riddance, or shall this self-created reality allow me to give this piece of memory the nostalgia that it vaguely deserves?

I don't really know what to think.

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