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May 06, 2011


Don't know why I always seems to have this (delusional) projection of myself being an absolute model student in the 'nearby' future. Like, suddenly I just might become more disciplined and everything once the hard truth hits me deep enough. And future jingxin will fix this up and all will go well.

So I am still waiting for that girl to miraculously appear. But who am I kidding right.

There is nothing less stressful than going to school, desperately, blindingly chasing something right-smacked in my face, something I know I will never have the competence nor drive to achieve.

It is a bit like failing standing broad jump. Repeatedly.

I need a system of absolute precision, telling me exactly what I have to do from here. It's not fun drowning in workload, yet being so adverse to facing them.

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