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April 23, 2011

Looks like a solo tonight


Blow the candles out / Looks like a solo tonight / I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out / Looks like a solo tonight /But I think I'll be alright

Hi.

Many things have happened since I last blogged about anything significant. A birthday celebration, a national competition, a concert. School.

It's true that a blog is sometimes untrue- what I really feel is often masked with seemingly incoherent sentences or not written out at all. It's not completely fake- it's just things that I let people see.

I'm beginning to blog less frequently now.

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Rifle nationals on thursday sort of marks the end of my cca journey in this school. Looking back, choir, floorball, air rifle.. all three ccas have become part of me. I may not have enjoyed myself while being in them, but now they hold bits of nostalgia that I cherish. And miss.

Sometimes we only treasure things when they're no longer part of our lives.

Or maybe it's just how we're all inherently built to forget about the unpleasant and to sugarcoat the past.

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I complain so much it sickens me. Nothing ever turns out what I want them to be- the present, no even going back to the past when I relive the same experiences and realise that they were to be flawed.

I see the problem being me, but it's just so difficult trying to break away from it and enjoy myself. Turn the situation around. Stop myself from fading away into the background.

I may have a wide spectrum of tolerable frequencies, but why does it feel like I'm not supposed to be anywhere at all?

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