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January 20, 2011

ebbing, & flowing, & pushed by a breeze

I hate it when I open my purse and it's completely empty, not knowing where my money went. Especially when I just filled it up with the whole of this month's allowance.

I can just burst into tears any minute, especially in the rain.

On the bus I was rolling my eyes to all these stupid people who kept pushing and pushing to get inside the middle of the bus, even when there's no bloody space left.

A freaking crowded bus, inconsiderate people, a bag that weighed a ton, and a terribly, terribly tired me piled up with stress and all sorts of emotions that pile up when thinking too much during shooting-

I also hate it when I'm already so damn tired and I have to look at that green seat longingly, while some pushy auntie makes it her life mission to split the sea of people into two (like Moses) to occupy the seat;

Or to risk tarnishing the school's/my reputation if I give up to fatigue, and to have all those judgey little eyes urging me to give the seat up to someone who wouldn't even have sat down even if the space was empty.

So so so tired.

Training yesterday: 3.3 km.

PE today which the oh-so-suprising teachers suddenly threw in the unexpected surprise of having the brilliant idea of a last-minute mock Napfa (note: sarcasm), 2.4 km, lots of jumping.

After school, training... bloody 150 shots (no less) with the ancient pumping gun that would have perished and became extinct if not for the fact that it is the only left-hander gun, like, ever.

I swear every time I pump the stupid gun, an expletive goes off in my mind. (x150)

I now have aching arm muscles from incline and pumping/holding the damn gun, and leg muscles from all the running, and standing for 4 hours plus. I can't even walk properly now.

Yes, I am terribly weak- give me a break, it's been ages since I exercised so much in two days.

Lastly, I am not obliged to give you the books if you have not even freaking paid for them. I am extremely pissed off, you not only make my job/life difficult, but you are also using other people's money for things which are given to you.

Please stop bloody complaining how the money piles up to so much- it's not like I want to pay for my freaking education either.

Next time I'm not going to be little miss nice anymore.

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