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December 20, 2010

Strained


I find it really ridiculous how our friendship feel like it is just for show, for companionship, for the lack of other people. When there are problems, we simply push them aside and pretend that they never happened, then go back to our original smile-smile relationship which has no deeper meaning at all.

I don't just open my heart out to anyone. I treasure friendship, in this world full of people who walk in and out of my life without leaving so much of a trace. But I'm repeatedly disappointed by how sometimes I miraculously become invisible to you.

Sometimes I feel like putting an end to all these pretense. Whenever we're in a group, I feel bounded up, being on the sidelines, watching. Watching, feeling like a shadow.

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How's that for an abrupt end.

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