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June 22, 2010

The midnight sky, ever so bright


I made up the title and it doesn't make sense.

Eileen came over to study today from 12 to 9.. 9 hours of music, talking, youtube and not-very-effective studying. It was fun nevertheless, and I realise that my room is actually a really conducive studying place (just that I have a problem).

And well highlight of the day- I think I killed more than 30 ants, my room is infested with them. Blame snacking while mugging.

-

It's hard staying alive- I actually do mean awake.

Life cycle- try to drag myself out of bed around 8, study, watch a little teevee, study, lunch, study, do some random weird stuff that zaps time away, study, dinner, watch teevee again, study, on computer (auto minus 5 hours gone), try to do online schoolwork, which sucks. I. CAN'T. CONCENTRATE.

Sleep at 2plusplus, it's three now.

I don't understand why I'm such an inefficient student- I do want to study, really. And I sit at my bloody chair for 9 - 10 hours, without going elsewhere, but so little seem to get in.

Perhaps I'm just a little panic-stricken and it's no wonder: 5 days left and a hell lot more I haven't done. In fact I've been just revising and refreshing my thoughts- no practice at all. And I haven't even finished the syllabus of math and econs. And gp is just heck care already.

I don't want a repeat of last year's finals- the hectic cramming of a year's worth of syllabus 8 hours before the exam, less than 10 hours of sleep for 5 days, and then finally crashing and end up with results I don't deserve.

Don't actually know whether I'm heading towards the right direction. I think that I just have really low self esteem right now, having not gotten above 40% for any test.

Sigh.

-

I'm like really tired already. Just tired from being awake, y'know?

The best thing I wanna go now is to wake up without an alarm and not feel guilt striken.

):

P.S. Does this mean I'm stressed, no right?

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