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February 06, 2010

Broken Wings


Sometimes when I'm in a huge crowd of people cheering, going crazy, having fun, talking, laughing.. I suddenly feel so detached, like I'm not supposed to be there at all.

Emo emo emo.

Argh. Am in a constant state of anxiety.

Was an epic fail yesterday when I tried to get to katong shopping centre's karaoke place. Took like 3 buses back and forth, unsure whether it was KSC or siglap centre or katong mall, then had to go to an internet cafe to rummage through contact lists because my phone is gone. Still had to hunt for a public phone zomg.

Suntec's mass dance was all in good fun, but I was really not in the mood. Apart from the 'constant state of anxiety', suntec really symbolised the ending of everything that has been & the start of j1.

It sort of terrifies me. I feel like I'm being pulled into this unknown entity, at the same time, losing myself from all the people I have been close to and identified myself with. Like slowly being detached from them, one by one.

This is strange, because now I feel like a stranger to a school which I've been in for the past two years. Now when I see random ip3s walking around I get all friendly and stuff, because they're part of the vjc I once knew.

And it really hurts when I get ignored.

Change is inevitible. But I don't want to let go.

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