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February 09, 2010

Know –> have known

After training today I went up to the treehouse by myself, sat down, closed my eyes & just ran through my thoughts. Having gone through 3rd period PE and rifle shooting, my heart was beating like crazy, so I just hmm, meditated?

It’s amazing how it calmed me down.

So many things going on in life, things that I was upset/ confused/ thankful/ worried/ stressed about, happenings worth remembering. Sometimes we just need to stop and sort out our thoughts.

Yeah whatever I was just crapping.

I was thinking between ip and I is like some half-broken string.. I don’t want to let go, but if I try to hang on too tightly, it might seem like I’m trying too hard.

After forcing myself through 40 shots in rifle training, I don’t know why I did that, during dismissal, I was more than upset how the two of us can just turn from really close friends to merely acquaintances overnight. It was like mutual acknowledgement plus some words of exchange out of common courtesy, and I can’t believe you just left like that!

It really saddens me to realise that this relationship was actually nothing but an agreement, or a partnership out of mutual need.

Sigh and then afterthat, out of a moment of idiocy, I converted all my super brie to radioactive blue in mousehunt. If you don’t know what it means, it’s like wasting like 3 full days of effort in erm… horning :/

-

I need to have more self confidence.

Today in 5 points:

  • I had my first H1 Chinese lesson, with people going “Jingxin what are you doing here???” numerous times.
  • It was Bryan david’s birthday, and the class had some sort of birthday celebration at the treehouse, which was pretty nice.
  • More spammage of lessons, math was confusing for a sec3 topic..
  • I CAN’T RUN ANYMORE and xcountry is in 2 weeks!!!
  • Knowing econs PBL/proj group tomorrow I hope I get good people.

I still can’t believe I’m a J1 already, gosh!

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