estherangel.blogspot.com

Saw the banner image on tumblr and I immediately thought of making a blogskin for it. It's so super pretty and colourful and all! Plus honestly I am quite irked by the long history of monochrome blogskins that I've had.

The difficulty of blogskin changing has gotten higher and higher, once upon a time it was just cut and paste from blogskins.com, then tumblr designs started getting pretty, and now this time it's a crossover between wordpress and tumblr.

Well as you can see, I'm still not pro enough to create a design from scratch. But I learn new things along the way! Really like fiddling with html and then getting a nice result. There are still things that are not working, like the comment box and twitter alignment and the gigantic huge font on the right.

But I'm tired): Will fix them next time.

Anyway to sound even more nerdy/geeky, I started reading The Hunger Games and it's a really good book! I can't wait for the movie to come out. The soundtrack is super awesome, Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift feat. The Civil Wars is currently my favourite song. It fits the novel so much.

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Not so sure if I'm enjoying being detached from everything. I try not to think about it so much though.

This year, I took a video using my mediocre 2mp itouch camera. This is one of the further ones! When it's too near we have to hide under the shelter lol.


There were also firecrackers from the house across the road. Maybe I'll upload it soon!

These are the type of things we will never get to experience in Singapore. It is also what my childhood is made up of-

It's the first year without cny celebrations in school, and somehow memories of yesteryear keep flooding back.

From singing and blasting to cny songs in primary school, to lion dances on stage in secondary school, to class orientation in J1, tiger mascots, polariods and all. In comparison, it's been a (ironically, given the explosives) quiet new year this year without school.

Well apart from the fact I have to wake up so early in the morning everyday, my computer (and only my computer) is a godforsaken windows OS without internet access, and how I'm slowly burning up precious time from this brimming teenage youth (hurhur more like fading), I'd say work is pretty good.

There's routine, the people there are nice and friendly, and the stuff I have to do is mostly brainless (well typical of admin work, sometimes my mind just drifts away and I forget there I'm at).

Except when I'm devising methods to increase productivity i.e. output per time #dilligentworker seriously! I have a excel file titled 'Shortcuts' haha.

Anyway, I guess what's valuable is just the experience of being in an office, doing a desk-bound job and seeing/feeling what it's like. There are people of high and low ranks, and there are people from so many different countries. It's a pretty cool dynamic (except that there's a particular Myanmar ringtone that drives me crazy).

I wonder how my career will turn out like. In a team-based work environment like this, I learnt how everything is part of a greater cause. At the end of the day, what makes one job any less noble than another?

Next time, my only wish is to find heart in what I do. It doesn't have to be extraordinary or anything, but I need to believe in it, that it is not just something I do to make a living. If this dream is dead, everything becomes pointless!

(I get so offended when someone tries to destroy this fantasy with practically.)

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I try to make sad thoughts go away with this website. Also, I am honestly believing in the law of attraction.

I am now in a state of being in my own world and talking to myself.

Goodnight.

Honestly, I am lacking inspiration when writing on this blog. The same topics recur all the time with my nonchalant, over-sensitive, fact-of-life type of entries, or those of the other spectrum, being weirdly excited and stuff.

I don't really know how to blog anymore. As much as I have always been amused by the fact that anonymous people read and know about my life and thoughts (sometimes more than they should), the truth is that they probably do it out of entertainment, more than concern. I would know.

Yet sometimes I feel like I am just blogging for someone, just because there would still be a connection, albeit a one-way one. But as long as I continue to blog, my words will continue to fill their thoughts and my presence will still be felt. Even if it were just for half a minute.

x.

2011 is a year of closure. With closure comes acceptance, looking at things with rose-tinted glasses and forgetting the not-so-nice parts. It was a hard year, with a levels, studying, routines that we don't really bother much with until everything ends.

Yea but whatever, you know? I hated 2011. It's about to be over soon and I am not going to (try all my might not to) think about it anymore.

I'd like to think of each new year as another chance to makes things right. After all, it's all in the mind, isn't it? The earth still revolves, people still born and die every second, we're all still breathing. The only thing different thing is empowerment, a mindset that we all start anew as the clock strikes twelve. It's another clean slate.

2012 is going to be a year with the biggest change in my life. My only resolution for the new year is to always be positive. I'm tired of always being so tragic about things, tired of regret, tired of blame, tired of jealousy.

After watching 'The Secret' today, I sort of feel more welcoming of the new year. I guess it was all quite timely? Initially expected it to be some inspirational bs but I guess it is just a matter of being more open to things that challenge our conventions. A little bit of delusion, fantasy or ignorance never hurt anybody.

Happy new year, lovelies.

City Hunter drama, twenty episodes, finished it within three days. Been feeling a little out of sorts after finishing it so fast, it's like everything has ended before I have given the story and characters any thought at all ): Should have slowed down!

Nonetheless, it's a really really (domudomu in korean) good show, and it's rarely I watch action dramas. But oh who cares, as long as Lee Min Ho is in it (;

It's also less of a cry fest as compared to bubujingxin- makes me wonder if touching scenes are largely due to the acting rather than the plot?
Christmas eve dinner
I love my mum; she spent an entire day preparing dinner even when we're not expecting guests. Dinner was delicious, as usual, even when turkey was humbly reduced to chicken, and the log cake was a typical sponge cake with chocolate covering.
Went out with Sally on Christmas eve eve, which was a complete disaster (WHY DID IT HAVE TO RAIN) and errand running- sorry): It was so tiring I felt my legs would break!

Hopefully work doesn't kill me too much. Have a good last week of 2011 everyone!

I like the the fact that I'm holding on the the final remaining hours of the day, which makes it all the more precious. Just surrendering all these hours to sleep would be such a waste.

I like how my mind slows down and loses its hyperactivity, becoming less distracted and stops jumping around with the many thoughts that comes with the endless possibilities of the day. Clarity. Suddenly I realise what is important, and the thoughts that I delude myself from in order to get by through the day, come running back.

Merry Christmas.

x

Six years ago I entered secondary school. Three years ago by second brother did. Today was my third brother's turn. It has become almost like a routine, as we enter and depart from different institutions.

Is life like that too? At the end of the day, I most certainly do not want to just look back and think, 'oh, well, guess that's just over and done with'.

I guess we mark our place in this world by how much we've influenced other's lives, how many hearts we've conquered (not in the lovey-dovey sense).

-cues inconclusive ending-